Long Form Story Analysis

The Obsidian Serpent

Link: https://magazine.atavist.com/obsidian-serpent-homeless-murders-california

The Obsidian serpent is about a homeless father, a Marine’s death, and the making of a serial killer.

First, the writer, Leon Krauze should explain or describe what the first victim has gone through in his tough life as a homeless community instead of just describing the place and how he has been murdered.

Second, a short video can be done and be included into the second paragraph while describing how the first victim and the second victim were killed by the murderer.

The writer may include a video clip or an audio clip of the second victim's mother to show the feelings of the mother towards her dead son.

Then, the audio version in the long form story can be added with some pictures to show the reality of the case happening. That may attract more readers who are preferring to watch pictures rather than just listening to the audio.

Besides, the link of the law-enforcement officials should be added into the paragraph in convenient for the readers whereby they could just click into the link to understand more about the law rather than they searching by their own.

Next, the statistics of National Coalition for the Homeless should be under the second last paragraph to prove that the homeless people were frequent targets of random violence and let the public be aware of the seriousness of the case.

Finally, a profile and a picture of the victims could be added into the long form story to let the readers have more understanding about the victims.

Storyboard

Story Distribution Chart